After 37
years of marriage. Jake dumped his wife for his Young secretary.
His new
girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Edith's multi-million dollar
home and since the man's lawyers were a little better he prevailed.
He gave
Edith his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out. She spent the 1st day packing
her belongings into boxes crates and suitcases.
On the
2nd day she had to movers come and collect her things.
On the
3rd day she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by
candlelight put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp
a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she
had finished she went into each and every room and stuffed half-eaten shrimp
shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of all of the curtain rods. She then
cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the
husband returned with his new girlfriend all was bliss for the first few days.
Then
slowly the house began to smell. They tried everything cleaning mopping and
airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were
cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators
were brought in to set off gas canisters during which they had to move out for
a few days and in the end they even replaced the expensive wool carpeting.
NOTHING WORKED.
People
stopped coming over to visit. Repairman refused to work in the house.
The Maid
quit.
Finally
they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month
later even through they had cut their price in half they could not find a buyer
for their stinky house.
Word got
out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new
place.
The
ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of
the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home
terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for
getting the house back.
Knowing
his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was he agreed on a price that was
about 1/10th of what the house ha been worth, but only if she were to sign the
papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the
paperwork.
A week
later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving
company pack everything to take to their new home.
INCLUDING
THE CURTAIN RODS
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